Sunday, December 17, 2017

2017 Card-vent Calendar: December 17

December 17, 2017:
2016-17 Panini Absolute Basketball #141 Lucius Allen (220/999)

You know, I think we in Milwaukee are being sold a bill of goods on this Bucks team. National media outlets have been picking the Bucks to be this sleeper darling dark horse that's going to contend for the Eastern Conference championship very soon. Our record doesn't look much different than the last few years, when we hover around the final playoff spot, the holding pattern of death in today's NBA. First round playoff exit or just missing the playoffs, you get a shitty first round draft pick, and then repeat for fifteen years. We're good enough to beat anybody in the league, but on Friday we lost to a can of expired creamed corn in the Chicago Bulls.

Giannis can't do it all. Would a guard like Lucius Allen help? Probably not. NBA is rigged, you know.

Saturday, December 16, 2017

2017 Card-vent Calendar: December 16

December 16, 2017:
#220 Alan Ashby, #486 Larry Bowa, #222 Jose Cruz, #488 Bill Buckner

There's a place in the continental United States where you can lie down and simultaneously touch four baseball cards while only touching one piece of cardboard. This card deserves its own national monument and 24-hour armed guard.

This may be the worst-cut card in existence. I guess technically you could fine one containing exactly 25% of each card, but that would actually be more mathematically stable and would adhere better to the Golden Ratio. This one is even a few degrees off from vertical and horizontal orientation. I suppose it could be double printed on one side, out of register, or could have a mismatched front and back, but that would be asking too much.

I'm getting this thing graded.

2017 Card-vent Calendar: December 15

December 15, 2017:
1992-93 Upper Deck #507 Birdman Fanimation

Cybernetic Larry Bird is also the dirtiest player in the game of the future. Droids with mechanical reach are no match for his well-hidden nut shots and wild elbows. Trash talking in the 25th century has evolved, and Birdman is the master there, too.

Artwork by Jim Lee. I'd be curious to see who the other artists in this subset were.
(Quickly scampers away to do a COMC search.)
Hmmmm, interesting.
Karl Malone, Dikembe Mutombo - Marc Silvestri
Jordan, Bird - Jim Lee
Looks like it was just the two of them. And they didn't even do a full team. Still, pretty much a Who's Who of the mid-1990s comics bubble.

Thursday, December 14, 2017

2017 Card-vent Calendar: December 14

December 14, 2017:
1995 Fleer Ultra Aaahh!!! Real Monsters #77 Scent of a Monster

There's just so much about this card I find... troubling.
The pit hair.
The lower-half hair.
The hands holding eyeballs.
The neck stubble.
The way the flaws in the ceiling panels mirror the neck stubble.
The weird spat-like stirrups.
The bulbous things under the purple costume.
The general carriage of the blue-lipped monster.
The card title, combined with the bathroom setting.

I'm glad I was into other things in 1995, cards and Nickelodeon not being those things.

Excuse me while I go and get my Dumbo Blu-ray and cleanse myself.

Trade Me Anything XI: #10

My lifestyle was very different during the first iteration of Trade Me Anything back in 2007. When TMA bleeds into the Card-vent Calendar, keeping up gets a bit difficult. Mrs. Thorzul works many nights at a second job in retail, so I'm a single dad several times a week. After putting the kids to bed, I just want to sit.

That was the self-pitying way to explain to Marc from Houston why he hasn't seen his trade posted yet, even though he sent it back when Al Franken was still sitting pretty. Let's check out the exchange.

Giving: #299 Yulieski Gurriel Photo Variation (Series 1)

Nice Stack of 1980 Topps

This worked out nicely. Between this lot and the bunch traded to me earlier, there were only two doubles. I might be getting close to putting this set in pages.

1988 Donruss Chris James

This was one of the last cards I needed to finish the 1988 Donruss set. Someone sent it this summer, I believe. It's the thought that counts, though.

2016 Topps Update Series #US7 Blaine Boyer Pink Parallel (32/50)

I just read the copy on the back of this card for the first time: "Blaine spent a chunk of the 2015 offseason in Southeast Asia where, with friend Adam LaRoche, he wore a hidden camera to document and combat child exploitation. 'We were in deep, man,' he said."
It gave me pause to think of a 6'3" redhead going undercover in a Thai brothel, but then again, that might be what your average sex tourist looks like.

Some More Brewers

Those minis sure are fun.

Wednesday, December 13, 2017

2017 Card-vent Calendar: December 13

December 13: 2017:
1970 Topps #25 Cesar Tovar

The best card shoots really do end with the player ready to fight the photographer.

Tuesday, December 12, 2017

2017 Card-vent Calendar: December 12

December 12, 2017:
1991 Topps Stadium Club #308 Tony Gwynn

Healthy teeth and gums, everyone.

Tony Gwynn's secret to good brushing? Pretend you're brushing your gums, not your teeth. You'll be able to make perfect contact with the gum line.
Tony Gwynn's secret to good hitting? Pretend every pitch is a strike. You'll be able to make perfect contact with every ball.