Monday, May 14, 2007

Yount Card of the Day #5

1993 Cardtoons #81

What can you say about a beauty like this? This card has so much going on that I just might have a seizure looking at it. I guess the only thing I can do is create a Top 10 list about it:

The Top 10 Greatest Things About This Card

10. The yellow tights. These were most likely found in the locker of Ricky Bones.

9. Home Plate. It's nailed to the ground like the game is being played at a vacant lot on 16th and Center and is only minutes from being jacked.

8. Robin's use of the bat as an arrow. Robin Yount was too much of a gentleman to pull a stunt like this in a real game, but if for some reason he was required to hit pitches with only the tip of his bat, fencing-style, for an entire season, his average would have dipped to .260, maybe .255.

7. The fringe around the bottom of his tunic. Robinhood Yount would have made a suitable replacement for the Justice League of America's Oliver Queen whenever he got too surly for the others to stand him. Hey, there's a Red Arrow in the League now, why not Blue Arrow?

6. The yellow feather in his cap. Although he played exclusively in the American League, there's no denying that this feather has been plucked from the San Diego Chicken. DNA test results will support this claim. Numbers don't lie! So how did Robin claim this trophy? Let me set the stage for you: July, 1992. Jack Murphy Stadium. Robin, for some reason, has not been elected to the All Star a player. He gets enough write-in votes, however, to take part in a mascot contest. A Laugh-O-Meter is involved in some way, and Yount comes out on top by using some filthy jokes that B.J. Surhoff told him. With the Phillie Phanatic and Mr. Red left in his wake, Yout makes his way to the trophy stand (presented by Hyundai). A few steps from the podium, the San Diego Chicken lunges at Robin. Approximately three seconds, two haymakers, and a flying elbow later and daggada-daggada-daggada, Bas Rutten-style, all that's left is a yellow pile of carnage. Yount plucks a single feather and hops on the next flight home.

5. "Hangs out with a band of merry basemen" I believe Yount would have felt right at home in Robin Hood times. I mean, have you ever seen a picture of Pete Ladd? Jim Slaton? Vuckovich? Those guys looked like they would have had no problem hiding in the bushes, unwashed, lying in wait to plunder a wayward carriage.

4. Boozers. Let's cut to the chase here.

3. This card "is a parody and is NOT licensed by Major League Baseball..." So...with the proper printing supplies and restraint from using any trademarked images, I, too, can create Robin Yount baseball cards? Sweet!

2. The opponent. He looks like Gargamel to me, but I'm sure Yount had a contemporary that looked more like this guy here. To me, the catcher looks a little like Dave Righetti, Yankee starter turned reliever. I'd like to hear some other thoughts and comparisons.

1. The spilled beer logo. Perhaps in 2008 the Brewers will develop another alternate home jersey just like this. Home Sundays? Mid-week day games? I'll take what I can get.

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