Thursday, August 30, 2007

1981 Topps Tournament -- Round of 16, Match 3

Seed #3 Ellis Valentine (#445)

Ellis Valentine is sporting some sort of device of which I have no prior knowledge. It looks like some sort of NFL placekicker face guard, but half of it has been removed. It also seems like it could be some sort of Super Sipper contraption. I'm not sure what the beverage of choice was in Montreal circa 1981, but it seems like Mr. Valentine has unlimited access to a refreshing liquid delight, even while at bat.
Going back to the half facemask thing, it reminds me of all of the half stuff that Willy Wonka had in his office at the end of the movie where he briefly led Charlie to believe that he lost the contest for stealing Fizzy Lifting Drink: the half clock, half cup of coffee, half safe that could just be reached into from the side... "Good Day, sir!!!"

--------------------VS.--------------------

Seed #14 Milt Wilcox (#658)

It's late and all I have to say about Milt is that the high placement of his cap indicates the presence of an extra large brain pan. Apparently, when questioned about his hat height during Spring Training, Wilcox reportedly originated the phrase, "That's just how I roll." If I recall correctly, Wilcox grew a sweet mustache by 1986 at the latest. So what's under the hat? I'd like to hear some conjecture.

3 comments:

dayf said...

Gotta go with Ellis. I see rednecks wearing trucker hats all the time, but I've never seen that contraption on his helmet before.

--David said...

I agree with dayf... How can you possibly compete with that? I mean, really, I think we are looking at the all-aroiund winner right there... Valentine by nose, er uh, facemask-helmet-thingy...

As for Wilcox, I think that is where he hid the "fake ball" when he was trying the "fool-the-baserunner" trick from the original "Bad News Bears" movie....

Jesse said...

Ellis and his dinosaur teeth.