Saturday, September 1, 2007

1981 Topps Tournament -- Round of 16, Match 4

Seed #4 Lonnie Smith (#317)

The patchiness of Lonnie's hamburger meat beard is the highlight of this card, and should make it hard to beat in this round. I considered showing the area in question in greater detail and size, but I'd rather not inflict that upon any sensitive viewers.

--------------------VS.--------------------

Seed #13 Renie Martin (#452)

Apparently today's matchup pits bad facial hair against bad teeth. The only way I can picture Renie Martin in the present is in the role of a strange old man whose house most kids skip on Halloween. Those brave enough to ring his doorbell are given a large handful of the most bizarre, out-of-date, foreign-produced candies imaginable (but not before a loopy, lisped warning, something like, "Take as many as you want, kiddies, but look what candy did to me!") This smile may haunt my dreams.

On a side note, doesn't "Renie Martin" sound like it should be the name of a mixed drink? "Bartender, I'll have a Tom Collins and she'll have a Renie Martin."

Thanks to everyone who has voted. We're halfway through the first round, with a lot more great cards on the way. Keep sending others to the site.

5 comments:

--David said...

Man, this is a very tough match-up. Though the teeth are pretty bad, I have to go with Smith's beard-thingy... That's just...wrong.

Chris Harris said...

You're thinking of Remy Martin.

dayf said...

Man, this one's tough... I'm an NL fan so I'll have to go with Skates.

Steve said...

awful beard, and crucial base running error in the 1991 series - Smith

Jesse said...

Gotta go with Monsieur Renie here.