December 14, 2007:
1993 Donruss #695 Greg Briley
You might not be able to tell right now, mid-game, but Greg Briley wants you. I've got nine inches of holiday loving, and it's got your name on it.
Why do I wear number 1? It's not just a uniform designation, it's a declaration of lifestyle. Greg never comes in second. Never.
And let's be clear: It's never been about Junior's sloppy seconds. No, it was the other way around. Ken got the Mariners groupies that I tossed to the side.
On the diamond, I'm all business. Post-game? You better watch your step.
Oh yeah, I see you. Greg Briley is turned on. You see that look in my eye. You make Greg Briley want you to stroke it. What's that? You think the dugout lacks the privacy this act deserves? Well...baby..I got Tino Martinez on lookout duty. Dave Valle had a coupon for whipped cream. Greg Briley thinks things through.
Aw, no baby, don't run away! Awwwwww...man.
Looks like Greg Briley is gonna stroke it tonight.