Saturday, April 12, 2008

Captain Nemo is My Agent

As a teacher, one of the fringe benefits of the job is the free swag you get from various educational enterprises. While this in no way compares to something like, say, luxury box seats that are common to certain private corporations, it's a nice bonus that helps stock your classroom with decent stuff. The most recent of these perks came from Scholastic Book Club. If you went to school any time past 1980, you probaby remember the 4-page newsprint sheet that your teacher passed out on a regular basis.. You may not know, however, that for every penny your mom spent on Nate the Great or Nancy Drew, your teacher was awarded special bonus points that can be used to purchase additional materials from their catalog. Last month I was eligible to snag $10 worth of free shtuff. While completing the order, though, I realized I had thrown away the flier, so I made some blind choices based on title alone. Here is one of the pleasant surprises.

Pretty good book, nice photos inside, and written for my students' reading level. Not a bad free little item, if I may say so myself.

That was my assessment.
Until I saw this...

Yes, yes, a millions times yes. I have an excuse to post this on the blog.
If you're wondering who bagged that puppy, and who hauled it onto the field to prove his skill as a hunter, the correct answer is Ben Sheets. (He has a little spare time after outdueling Johann Santana this afternoon. Muscleman Gabe Kapler helped drag the squid in, correctly deducing that going through the bullpen would be the route with the fewest obstacles.)

Oh, and here's my favorite part of the painting.

Looks like the capitalists over at MLB wasted no time in cashing in on the presence of a cephalopod on the diamond. The fan in the stands has clearly chosen sides in the impending bloodbath between man and fish, hoping that his gesture will endear himself to our eventual backbone-less captors.

All I have to say is that this throws a monkeywrench into defensive positioning when the batter is trying to bunt the man over to second.

Before you know it, game-used suction cup swatches will work their way into packs of Topps Finest. When this happens, dayf really ain't buying a box.

1 comment:

dayf said...

Are you kidding??

Put squids in that bad boy and I'm in for a case!