Thursday, May 1, 2008

Punked by the Machinery

Back on February 6, 2008, I dropped my shorts and dangled this in front of your faces on A Pack A Day:

Turns out, I'm the punk bitch.

This has never, I repeat, NEVER happened before in the history of Milwaukee Public Schools. There are drawings of snow days on cave walls, none of which mention making the days up in late spring. I, for one, will not enjoy coming in to work on June fucking sixteenth.
But perhaps some good can come of this situation after all. For one, our superintendent has finally succeeded in an area where he previously knew only failure. In a fractured, dysfunctional school district, he managed to build consensus among employees. Unfortunately for him, all he helped to create was an atmosphere in which we can all agree with his status as a Grade-A Douchebag.

In times such as these, a weaker man would turn to his drug of choice. Some of you out there might interpret this as an overreaction to a mere pair of extra school days, but then most of you are not teachers in inner-city schools within what has become a city on the decline. While illegal drugs might be right for some, I find it more useful to take a bit hit off the card crack pipe. Thus I unveil the latest addition to my Robin Yount collection:
2008 Upper Deck Premier Combos Ryan Braun/Robin Yount (Dual Game-Worn Jersey) #PCM-BY (17/25)

Oh yeaaaaaaahhhhhhhh. That shit goes right to the back of your brain and makes its home there. Ride the snake.
The baseball card gods must have heard my prayers over the last couple of months. Is there anything a true Brewers fan can find to dislike about this card? Aside from the plain white swatches, improving upon this card is next to impossible. This won't get me to buy any packs of Upper Deck, but I sure applaud their creativity.

I traded away two of what will likely be a small handful of truly nice days (based on Wisconsin weather patterns) for a couple of days spent doing back-breaking shoveling. I'm entitled to this impulse item.

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