Monday, October 27, 2008

A Trick and a Treat

aka "The Seventh Card That Will Make You Shit Your Pants"

With Halloween less than a week away, I'd better get going on sharing all of the horrific Battle Cards with you. Here's today's.

96 The Demon of Eelsea

What we have here is basically a lungfish on steroids. I think I saw one of these at Bally Total Fitness tonight. He was turning sideways to fit through a door. The back of the card tells the story of this beast, letting the readers know that the icthy-monster can be thought of as a cousin to the Kraken. I'll let you read the rest yourself.

Did you catch that the Demon of Elsea needs to haul itself onto dry land occasionally in order to rest? Well, here's tonight's treat, a being that acts in a similar fashion.

2008 Topps Updates and Highlights #UH300 CC Sabathia

At long last, the card I've been waiting months for is here. My hobby box of U&H arrived today, and it didn't take long for CC to appear, being found in the second pack, in fact. Much like the Demon, CC sometimes pushes away from his natural habitat, the buffet table, to pitch eight or nine shutout innings. In a fair fight, one fought on neutral territory, such as a vat of quicksand, CC will come out on top 90% of the time. His stamina is superior, he doesn't need periodic rest, and his "good cholesterol" numbers are surprisingly positive. Look for the team that comes in in second place in the bidding war for CC's services this winter to quickly sign the Demon of Eelsea. Will he look good in Dodger blue? Time will tell. For now, I look forward to a year's worth of "The Vacuum Cleaner That Does Your Taxes" to appear on cards that say "Brewers" on them for a full calendar year (until 2009 Topps Updates and Highlights, of course).

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