Saturday, November 8, 2008

Trade Me Anything! II: Trade #5

The weekends are a great time to post multiple times in one day, so here you go. This is from Nicole from Minnesota, who runs probably the world's only baseball card/paper crafts blog.

2008 Topps U&H #UH279 Alex Hinshaw (RC)

2000 Upper Deck Cardcaptors #62 Episode 12 Icebreaker
2007 Bowman Heritage Chrome #38 C.C. Sabathia
1993 Upper Deck #333 Paul Molitor

*A deeply detailed explanation letter on some of the daintiest paper I've ever seen arrived with this trade. Being engaged (with less than three weeks to go now) helped partially immerse me in the heretofore unknown world of fine paper products, with the fiancee designing and constructing the invitations herself.

*Even the return envelope is stamped with dainty postage. Wouldn't the world be a happier place if everything was attended to like this?

*CC was still using periods at the time of this card's printing. Ahhh, those were the days.

*I'm always a little uneasy when receiving a Paul Molitor card. I know I should like it, but I never really fully embrace it. Am I wrong for feeling this way? There's a feeling of guilt associated with this, but I can't help it. There's been a lingering sensation, something akin to what you would feel if someone took your cookie, the only one on your plate, licked it, and then put it back. That's what Molitor's departure and immediate World Series victory is like. Can I get some confirmation on this, dayf? What if Chipper left the Braves for another NL team and promptly won the World Series? Wouldn't you like him a little less for licking the cookie?

Paul Molitor licked the cookie.


dayf said...

I thought about this for a long time and I have to say this:

Tom Glavine licked my cookie.

He took my Oreo, twisted it open and licked out all the filling. Then he left the cookie parts sitting sadly on my plate.

However, the method of the player's departure is critical. Phil Niekro, Bob Horner, Dale Murphy, Marquis Grissom, Dave Justice, Ryan Klesko and Greg Maddux did not lick my cookie.

Kenny Lofton, JD Drew, Gary Sheffield and Mark Teixeira all licked my cookie.

Ron Gant accidentally dropped my cookie on the floor and we shared a sad look.

Javy Lopez, Rafael Furcal and Andruw Jones thought they licked my cookie, but it was actually the cookie that fell on the floor so I don't sweat it.

I just let John Rocker have my cookie to occupy his mouth for a second or two, then kicked his ass out the door and changed the locks behind him.

So yes, you are exactly right. You feel really bad about it, but the motherfucker licked your goddamn cookie.

Chipper however is immune. He has earned the right to lick every cookie in the box. Even if he were to go to the M- M- Meh... Mu- M-m-m-m team in blue and orange I wouldn't like him less.

Anonymous said...

I found those stamps in a purse I hadn't used since last year. (41 cents!) The Pollinators stamps are really neat, they come in a block of four, and they actually tile. I couldn't find my Take Me Out to the Ball Game sheet. (I have lots of stamps because some Postcrossers insist on "beautiful stamps, not that default USA airmail" so I end up sticking on a 41, a 24, a couple of 10s and some 1s etc.)

I was just hoping that was a Brewer you didn't have. It was the only spare pre-1994 Brewer I could /find/.

It's not so much that Molitor licked my cookie in my case; it's more that I had this nice plate full of those really good Girl Scout cookies (I like Thin Mints and whatever they're calling Samoas these days) and Bud Selig came by and switched them out for some stale generic sandwich cookies and insisted we'd like them just as much.

To stretch the metaphor even further, I didn't eat a cookie again until 2001 and then I didn't regularly start eating cookies outside of October until 2007. (Apparently Mark Attanasio is buying the good cookies for us?)

I think, however, that Jason Varitek is going to totally lick my cookie this year. (I follow the Sox, sometimes.) I'm not going to miss Ben Sheets that much, so. He licks someone else's cookie.

PTBNL said...

Do you also feel this way about Geoff Jenkins, even though he wasn't exactly an integral part of the 2008 Phillies?

Thorzul said...

Good question, ptbnl.
Jenkins spent most of his best years being the only guy in the Brewers' starting lineup that other teams would also pick as a starter. When his contract ran out after 2007, his best years were already behind him, and it was the Brewers who declined to sign him. (By the way, this was a yardstick I used when I correctly predicted in an e-mail to Chris Harris on 9/30/08 that the Phillies were going to the World Series. Our starting left fielder from last year was riding the bench for the Phils. That helped put the matchup in perspective.) So, no, Geoff Jenkins did not lick my cookie.

dayf is right on about the circumstances of departure. The Crew was so very close in 1992, and would have been the Wild Card, I believe, under MLB's current playoff format. The year of the departure they went 69-93. It was the beginning of 15 straight seasons without a winning record.

There are very few Brewers who fit into this category. Gary Sheffield took a steaming dump on my plate of cookies on a daily basis since Day 1 with the Brewers. I can't really think of too many more for whom I have an active disdain.

Brett Favre didn't lick my cookie either. He tried out a new cookie recipe after claiming he was done using the oven. His "I...uh...forgot some of my baking sheets" line didn't work when he tried it.

Oh, and if I was still 13, I would have snickered about a girl writing "Jason Varitek is totally going to lick my cookie..."

PTBNL said...

Curt Schilling and Scott Rolen licked my cookie. JD Drew stole my cookie and tried to replace it with Eric Valent. I wasn't buying.