Monday, December 1, 2008

2008 Card-vent Calendar: December 1

December 1, 2008:
1997 Fleer Metal Universe #219 Tony Gwynn

Fact: Batman is awesome. At my wedding, instead of cake, we invited friends and relatives to bake and bring pies. At the head table, the pie-topper actually consisted of a Batman and Catwoman action figure couple, complete with a miniature bouquet and veil.
Fact: In a different way, Tony Gwynn is awesome.
Fact: Combine the two by placing Gwynn in the Batcave, and you have an awesome card emerging from the dreck that was the late-1990s card atmosphere.

When I was little, my family had a Jesse Tree displayed prominently in our house each December. For those of you who don't know, a Jesse Tree is similar to an advent calendar, but way more boring. Just kidding. Actually, it has an extensive history that I don't have the time to read, but ours was just like an advent calendar. Each day in December, one of the family would reach into one of 24 sequential pockets, take out the felt religious symbol, and pin it to the felt tree on the tapestry. Each year, the felt symbol in pocket 1 was a red apple, representative of Adam. While there's no literal connection between Tony Gwynn and the Fall of Adam, the first card to be plucked from within this year's calendar begs the question: Would Tony Gwynn have eaten the fruit from the Tree of Knowledge had he been in the same position?

More importantly, would Tony Gwynn have made a good Batman?
Would Batman have had a lifetime batting average above .338 if he had chosen more of an MLB path instead of a life of fighting crime?
Did Tony Gwynn learn what the word guano meant while playing the Apple version of "Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego" like so many of our generation did, and is he still interested in a baseball-themed spinoff of the game consisting of a 30-city mystery solving ballpark tour on interactive CD-rom starring his alter ego Tony Sandiego?
Whoa, sorry for getting so weird on the first day. I just get excited when I open one of the doors on the Card-vent Calendar and get something good.

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