Tuesday, December 2, 2008

2008 Card-vent Calendar: December 2

December 2, 2008:
1986 Garbage Pail Kids Series 3 #116b Berserk Kirk

Looks like the makers of the Card-vent Calendar wanted to start December off with a theme this year. I can see some bats in the background of this Halloween-y treasure from the '80s; maybe they came from Tony Gwynn's cave. Whatever the case, it's refreshing to see a GPK that doesn't involve massive amounts of missing skin, gallons of snot, or multiple popped-out eyeballs. The first few series of GPKs were clever, but soon degenerated into top-this-one gross-outs.

While Kirk is pretty cool, the real treat comes on the reverse of the card.
Back before the invention of MySpace, people under eighteen years of age had limited means to emotionally bully their peers. All we had to satisfy the urge to character assassinate were the backsides of Garbage Pail Kids cards. Apparently I had some sort of beef with "Jay" back in the first grade. Typical east coast/west coast stuff, I'm sure, but he obviously had to be put in his place. If this is the Jay I'm thinking of, I don't remember him as much of a liar, but he was rather effeminate, even for a seven-year-old. I seem to recall his tendency to take several pieces of our teacher's Scotch Tape, stick them to his fingers, and claim they were Lee Press-On Nails. Sorry to bust you out Jay, but you have been unmasked to the baseball card collecting community as a LIAR.

I'm not going to feel too bad about this, since I haven't seen him since 1993.

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