Friday, December 5, 2008

2008 Card-vent Calendar: December 5

December 5, 2008:
1991 Pro Set Super Stars MusiCards #83 Nelson

HA-ha!! (extremely high-pitched)

Oops, wrong Nelson! I was thinking Muntz for a second, but then I saw these two chicks and got disappointed.

Wait a second...these are dudes! But their hair is so silky-looking and well-conditioned. What's going on here? Is that a Bath and Body Works bag sticking out behind Gunnar's guitar? (Because I do smell something elegantly fruity.) If the one on the left opens his shirt any farther, will he get nabbed for indecent exposure? Are people afraid to burp and fart around them, so as not to offend the fairer sex?

Opening today's door and getting this card reminds me a lot of the Advent calendars of my youth. My parents always put one up that had 24 small pockets in which they put Brach's candy, and there was a little mouse or something that would move from spot to spot. My brother, sister, and I were on a rotating schedule: 3 kids, 3 Advent calendars, 2 religious in nature and 1 filled with candy. Basically you slogged through the first two in order to get at the cavity-promoting third. This Nelson card is a lot like having it be your day to pick from the candy pocket calendar and getting one of those Neapolitan-looking brown, white, and pink candies that's infused with coconut and tastes like raw ass. Terrible.

Thanks to Dr. Steve for supplying this card.

3 comments:

PunkRockPaint said...

One of my friends was a guitar tech for Nelson... Sweeeeeet gig!

I believe they paid him in shampoo and conditioner.

Slette said...

Wow, I just heard "Only Time Will Tell" on my drive this afternoon. What's sad is I heard it because it's on a CD I had burned in my car.

*hangs head in shame*

Scott C. said...

Wow. I remember those cards. My sister had a ton of them. Nelson wasn't really my style, but I was into a lot of the other glam bands - Poison, Cinderella, Slaughter.
Scott C.