Tuesday, February 24, 2009

A 1982 Topps Melodrama

Spring Training, somewhere in Arizona, 1981:

Hey Billy...

What, man?

Last night I had a date with Sally Owchinko. Things went well. I was givin' it to her, like this. Ooooooooooooh.

Man, don't bother me with that sheeyit.

What are you two guys talking about?

Sally Owchinko.

Yeah. I was givin' it to her, like this. Ooooooooooooh.

I hear it, but I don't believe it.

Yeah, it really happened. I was givin' it to her, like this. Ooooooooooooh.

What's going on ever there, Bob? They look like they're talking about something of interest.

I don't like the looks of it. You know how Jon gets.

Let's go over there anyway, check it out.

So I was givin' it to her, like this. Ooooooooooooh.

Told you.

So let me get this straight. You said you were giving it to her. How, exactly, did that play out?

Let me show you. I was givin' it to her, like this. Ooooooooooooh.

Oooh.

No. I was givin' it to her, like this. Ooooooooooooh.

Oooooh?

No, Ooooooooooooh.

Ooooooooooooh.

You got it, m' man.

I think know the girl yall's talkin' about.

Did you give it to her, like this? Ooooooooooooh.

You betcha. Yup, that's her alright.

Please describe her hair to me. In detail.

I was givin' it to her, like this. Ooooooooooooh.

Pretty nice out here today, fellas. Ought to be a good game today, between two quality teams. Best of luck.

By the way, what are you all talking about?

Sally Owchinko. I was givin' it to her, like this. Ooooooooooooh.

That's a lie mister.

Ooooooooooooh.

A damn lie.

I was givin' it to her, like this. Ooooooooooooh.

This ain't over.

Golly. I feel all sorts of tingly inside.


Fin

13 comments:

stusigpi said...

Spare time much.

Brilliant!

night owl said...

OMG. That was hysterical.

Bay Rat North West said...

Funniest thing I have read in weeks! I can only say Ooooooooooooh! Boy!

steveisjewish said...

without a doubt my favorite post on a baseball card that i have read in the last 2 years. Well Done. Well Done.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!

dayf said...

Bob is so gonna kick Jon's ass. You don't mess with the man's Sally.

madding said...

Hilarious!

PunkRockPaint said...

Oooooooooh-some!!!

Andy said...

I gave up reading your blog after you failed to thank me for (or even acknowledge) 2 different packages I sent you, but I came by just to find your old Greg Briley post and found this one pretty funny.

tastelikedirt said...

Good Stuff!

Motherscratcher said...

Best blog post this year. Maybe ever. Thanks Mr Bam.

Anonymous said...

WOW! Best ever! I am still laughing..

crichar3 said...

Really enjoyed this.

matthew houskeeper said...

Solid!!!!