Monday, July 13, 2009

2009 Home Run Derby Open Forum

I've opened up the forum, which I'll be updating throughout the contest. I promise to speak the truth. The first truth to tell is that David Cook officially sucks balls.

2. Wow, that "Call Your Shot" contestant has some white legs.

3. Ozzie Smith is officially awesome.

4. Erin Andrews' chin looks like it's healed nicely.

5. Nelson Cruz to the field: "Game on."

6. So I take it that when Albert Pujols is up to bat, Prince Fielder will do some nonstop talking?

7. That Mohawk kid in the outfield is the first to every ball.

8. Prince Fielder politely requests that his 497-foot home run be left embedded in the concrete where it landed.

9. Tough luck, Inge. I highly doubt his shit is usually that weak. Better luck next time.

10. Josh Hamilton just shared Jesus Christ with me.

11. The yellow/green colored ball tracker needs to go. Puck Track, anyone?

12. Joe Mauer must have hit that last one through a rift in the space/time continuum.

13. Three-man bat-off.

14. I love how after Pena finished, Joe Morgan finally realized that it was five swings, not five outs.

15. Round 2: Cruz, Prince, Howard, Pujols.

16. Where can I get a Spink jersey?

17. Finals: Fielder v. Cruz. This is going to be fun.

18. I want to grow plants in Maui as a volunteer with Curtis Granderson.

19. 2009 Home Run Derby Champion: Prince Fielder of the Milwaukee Brewers!

Nelson Cruz
Round 1: 11
Round 2: 5
Final: 5

Prince Fielder
Round 1: 11
Round 2: 6
Final: 6

Brandon Inge
Round 1: 0

Adrian Gonzalez
Round 1: 2

Carlos Pena
Round 1: 5 (1 in bat-off)

Ryan Howard
Round 1: 7
Round 2: 8

Joe Mauer
Round 1: 5 (0 in bat-off)

Albert Pujols
Round 1: 5 (2 in bat-off)
Round 2: 6

13 comments:

dayf said...

Is that the bent Nelson Cruz relic card I gave ya?

Thorzul said...

Naturally.

Matt said...

It is really impolite of Prince Fielder to be hitting these home runs while Albert Pujols is speaking...

Thorzul said...

Matt, that made everyone in my TV room laugh. Well done!

Mark's Ephemera said...

I'm planning on having the arch and domed building shaved on the back of my head the next time I get a haircut.

Motherscratcher said...

This is what I'm typing in lieu of the comment I had about Erin Andrews' chin. I have no idea who's in the room with you and I am using my better judgement, which is rare.

Thorzul said...

There are no ladies here, so feel free.

Motherscratcher said...

It was to the effect of not usually being able to see her chin as I usually have something resting on it.

Motherscratcher said...

It's good to see that all of the money ESPN sunk into lighting up the puck a few years ago is finally paying off.

dayf said...

So has poor neglected Nelson Cruz won yet? Just gimme my prize already.

Mark's Ephemera said...

If Duff Goldman lost a few pounds, grew out his goatee and hit the tanning booth he could pass as Nelson Cruz's cousin.

dayf said...

Brewer vs. Former Brewer in the finals. Mr. Bam must be bouncing off the walls right now.

dayf said...

noooooooooo I am teh looser :(