Thursday, February 18, 2010

Thorzul's Department of War Has Declared...

...an immediate Cease-Bipping!

At some point in the past month or so, have you gone to your mailbox, opened a package in a padded envelope, only to look like this------>???

2009 Topps T206 Old Mill Framed Relic #FR-15 Ryan Braun

If you can identify with this state of shock, you might be happy to hear this directive. Effective immediately, all Bippings are to stop. Too many lives have been lost. Too many limbs have been lost. I've been getting complaints from the US Post Office.

If you have Bipped someone in the last 24-72 hours, you are exempt from this declaration, as are those who have organized and packaged a Bip, and have planned to mail it this afternoon. Should you be found guilty of ex post facto Bippage, severe sanctions can and will be imposed. Expect to make travel plans destined for The Hague, for you will be court-martialed, and you will receive no leniency. At ease.

But Thorzul, you scream, what will we do with ourselves now?
On a serious note, I have been thrilled with the degree to which Bipping has spread. Truth be told, I couldn't keep up with the cataloguing anymore (at least in a way that would have done your hard work any justice). However, I think this practice has run its course. Any future Bippings I receive will not be posted (unless you want to add to my '89 Gallagher collection), and I probably won't be reporting on any occurrences on any other blogs. It was fun while it lasted, but I think it's fallen out of fashion.

Do I have another assignment up my sleeve? You bet your ass I do. I've got an idea brewing, but I would like to give everyone an adjustment/warning period. For too long we have been emasculating and humiliating our brethren. Soon, the true enemy of the common collector will feel our wrath. I cannot tell you more than that, but I can prepare you for a March 1st directive:
SAVE YOUR WRAPPERS!

I repeat...
SAVE YOUR WRAPPERS!

I invite you to postulate any theories about what this may mean, and who the target might be. I also implore you to spread the word on your blogs. Urge your readers, in as many posts as you deem worthy, to save their pack wrappers. Thank you.

If you can read this... you are the resistance.

9 comments:

Roy said...

Fashion a prom dress completely out of opened foil wrappers from 1973-2007! What do I win?

dayf said...

Um, yeah...

About that...

http://cardjunk.blogspot.com/2010/02/thorzul-has-made-his-decision.html

SpastikMooss said...

Phew. I was nervous til I read the last 48-72 hours part. Because I sent one last one out a few days ago.

Cardsplitter said...

I don't know, I think it is a set up. Soon everyone will be going to their mailboxes and finding very large, and very light, boxes full of shiny foil... wrappers.

Being late to the party, I have never been bipped. Hooray me!

night owl said...

A six-time bippee still has work to do ...

Rod said...

any left over bips with any team can be sent to padrographs. I have decided to expand my Bip collection to all the teams he played for.

PunkRockPaint said...

Firstly, I just threw out about 100 wrappers.

#2 - I have spent the last three weeks preparing Bip packages.

C. Since when have card collectors ever cared about what's in fashion.

Lastly... Pirates do not follow orders.

E. (Folowing "Lastly") You are on my "Bip" list now!

Furthermore, I used to have a Bipping motto: Don't Bip angry. Well, you can forget that!

Second Lastlies: I plan on a LONG layover in Amsterdam on my way to the Hague.

Finally: Bip you! Mother Bipper! How dare you rain on my parade!

In conclusion, nevermind. I'll just throw all that crap in the box with my bell bottoms, wallet chain, Ugg boots, and trucker caps for a few years until it becomes fashionable again.

FanOfReds said...

May Ugg boots never become fashionable again.

Sharpe said...

I think we've still got time on Bippings. I know people who are just now trying to Rick Roll me. Swear to God.