The other day I got a stack of cards from the Cardboard Junkie, 31 of which I needed for the Series II Experiment, and two of which that were graphically similar enough to create an unlikely scenario about.
Apparently, an interleague, interteam limbo competition broke out at some point in the season last year. Michael Bourn got things started.
Fortunately, Alexi Casilla was having none of that pussy-ass shit. Unnamed sources told me he got up in Bourn's face and chastised him for making to competition too easy from the outset. The best quote I could get was pulled from audio captured from one of those Mic'd Up helmets worn by one of the other participants:
"I mean, I could even... (unintelligible) Prince Fielder with a vegetarian turkey leg... (unintelligible) fat-ass under that thing."
In a shocking turn of events, the runaway winner of the limbo competition was a surprisingly limber Adam Dunn.