Saturday, October 2, 2010

Racial Harmony Among the Packs

The other night I picked up a few discount packs at a more out-of-the-way Target store. It was only when I got home that I noticed something queer about each of the two packs of 2005 Upper Deck All Star Classics. Maybe it was the in-store fluorescent lighting, but I failed to spot the difference until these were sitting on the kitchen table. Can you spot the disparity?

Well, it's obvious now, but what I first neglected to notice was that one pack had a silver wrapper, while the other had a white wrapper. What could this possibly mean for the contents within? I think a comparison analysis is now in order. We're going to take a look at things that come in silver wrappers versus things that come in plain white wrappers, trying to see if any trend can be established.

Silver Wrapper: Pop Tarts

White Wrapper: Off-Brand Toaster Pastries (Christ, Where's the Fucking Frosting?)
Silver 1, White 0

Silver Wrapper: Choco Taco

White Wrapper: Twin Pop (That You Have to Share With Your Sister)
Silver 2, White 0

Silver Wrapper: Hershey's Chocolate Bar (The Inner Wrapper)

White Wrapper: Saltine Crackers (For Upset Tummies)
Silver 3, White 0

Looks like an ass-kicking in the making. Let's go to one more example, see if white can salvage at least a tiny shred of dignity.

Silver Wrapper: York Peppermint Pattie

White Wrapper: Courtesy Mint
Silver 4, White 0

Nope, silver just keeps on chugging along while white pisses itself in the corner and cries itself to sleep. This is conclusive proof that things in silver wrappers are always better than things in white wrappers. But the question remains, will this hold true for baseball cards? Things are looking good for silver. Just check out the backs of these packs. The silver one even has an anti-theft tag, while the white... well, the store is just asking you to steal it, and maybe they can claim it as a loss.

Weigh in with your two cents if you'd like. Which pack do you think will have the better cards? Results to follow in a future post.


SpastikMooss said...

Aren't Ho Ho's individually wrapped in white wrappers inside the box? If so, white has hope.

Spankee said...

I noticed the same thing with 2005 Pros and Prospects at Target. The one with the antitheft tag has to be better. You heard it here first: the silver pack will yield a serial numbered card.

Play at the Plate said...

The all-white pack is the winner. Silver is always second place.