Saturday, October 9, 2010

A Stale Gum Sighting!

This past Wednesday, I decided to hit the gym (well on my way to my goal of 1,000 minutes working out in the month of October), and when I got home, I was just in time to see the final inning of the Phillies/Reds game. Now we all know what happened there, but my keen detection skills allowed me to notice something, or someone, rather, that the untrained eye would have missed. With one out in the top of the ninth inning, the cameras operated by the good people at TBS captured this scene in the stands.

Check out the guy in the lower left of the screen, the dude with glasses. Is that not a resigned, bloated version of Chris Harris?

Yes, he's got that weird stay-at-home-dad haircut that the real Harris lacks, but he is a Phillies fan. Plus, I think the real Harris would be showing a little more enthusiasm with his team two outs away from a playoff no-hitter. Basically, this is Bizarro Stale Gum. If Chris were ever to become afflicted with whatever malady it was that turned Harold Ramis from skinny egghead Egon Spengler...

...into the current pre-chosen form he's sporting today, that fan would be the result.

Or it's his brother.

In any case, this is not at all intended as a cut against Chris, it's merely an observation about a prominent Phillies fan card blogger with an apparent doppelgänger showing up at a crucial point in a high-profile sporting event. The similarity is eeire. I will, however, take some shots at the fans surrounding Bizarro Chris Harris. They all deserve nicknames, and nicknames they shall have.

Captain Orange
Tannest Philadelphia resident on record. Skipped four out of his six daily sessions to attend the game.

Philly Mike
Whutta you lookin' at?

Ross Choad
Bandwagoneer. Bought his only piece of Phillies apparel that afternoon, then spent three hours on hair after squeezing head through yuppie-tastic turtleneck.

Charlize Manuel

Shia LaBeef
OK, took that one from The Office, but damn if we don't have a second doppelgänger.

The Old Man and the P
Who knew Hemingway's ghost hung around CB Park?

Uncomfortable Annie
Just wants to be at home where it's warm with her hubby.

All the rest are just innocent bystanders. Great game, by the way. I think you can all bear to have the piss taken out of you a little because your team is probably going to win the World Series again.


--David said...

Dude, that is awesome - Excellent doppelganger spotting!

Chris Harris said...

You have just about every Philly Phan stereotype down pat. All except:

Dude with his own name on the back of a Phillies jersey who reeks of Mentholated cigarettes and pork.

Dude who looks like Carl from Aqua Teen Hunger Force; scans the crowd and quickly identifies the one person in Cincinnati gear and says to anyone who'll listen, "He need to get his ass kicked."

Dumpy looking co-ed who "pre-gamed" (we don't call it "tailgating") with a sixer of Yuengling. Won't stop kicking the back of your seat.

OBTW, I was at a bar in Manassas, VA when this shit went down.

Ryan said...

This is why I read this blog. Simply hilarious.