Saturday, January 8, 2011

Hands-Down, Best Signature Ever


While packaging group break cards last night, I came across this one. Judging by his signature alone, Jose Ortegano is just not the one to fuck with. That's not a signature, that's a warning sign. One that screams, "Don't touch my glove!"

A backwards dollar sign, about twelve consecutive u's, a possible umlaut (or two consecutive i's), and a flourish of an ending that could be interpreted as any of a number of letters, but is actually a scorpion's tail. This boy needs a school psychologist, but I'm afraid it won't do any good.

"Look for severe childhood disturbances associated with violence. Our Jose wasn't born a criminal, he was made one through years of systematic abuse. Jose hates his own identity, you see, and he thinks that makes him a transsexual. But his pathology is a thousand times more savage and more terrifying."


Scott Crawford said...

I wonder what the odds are that Topps used the wrong sig on the card.

Jonathan @ RGB Cards said...

That boy needs therapy.

Thorzul said...

Fan of The Avalanches, Jonathan?

SpastikMooss said...

He was white as a sheet,

And he also made false teeth.

TJ said...

Thank you for making an Avalanches reference. Now I has to spend my morning looking for that cd. I need to organize better.

Todd Uncommon said...

Looks like a 16th century Spanish Galleon captain's signature on a treasure manifest recovered from a locked safe hoisted from a sunken wreck.

Or a character from a new Dan Brown novel, "The Colonial Epiphany Code Demon Locket With a Spider Tattoo".