Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Topps Diamond Giveaway Haul: 2011

If you've tried to log in to the Topps Diamond Giveaway site in the last two days, you've probably seen something like this:

I'm telling you, it must suck if you had a fistful of codes and an 8-inch boner, champing at the bit to redeem that sweet, sweet 1993 Eric Anthony, when all of a sudden Topps goes all Lee Van Cleef on your ass and you can't redeem shit. Me? I'd have put my fist through at least three flat-screen monitors already and pounded my way through a half-dozen chiclet-style keyboards, ampersands and X's flying through the smoky air. Yeah, that's right, I like to keep my technology anachronistic.

Luckily, all of my codes had been redeemed and I had gotten to the point where I wasn't going to buy anymore 2011 Topps flagship packs. To top it off, I had completed my scheming and trading and requested shipment of the cards. It's a good thing my man Katanga was able to smuggle the loot into the Port of Milwaukee. The Bantu Wind is no joke, what with its many exhaust ports used by thieves to hide.

Here's the deal: I'm going to start with the present and work my way backwards in time through my haul. I'll share a few anecdotes along the way, laughs will be had, friendships will be destroyed, and I'll make sure to go out of my way to piss a few of you off.

#DCC-102 Yovani Gallardo Diamond Die-Cut

Yes! I was able to pull off a trade for another DDC of a player from a much more horrible team. These things look like shit-stained undies when scanned, but look great in person, and can be used as a coaster for your PBR Tall Boy in a pinch. The backs of these cards celebrate acts of heroism dubbed "Diamond Deeds." Here's the copy from Gallardo's: "Yovani capped off a 8-inning, 79-pitch outing by strangling a Houston Astros fan who had gotten past Minute Maid Park security. It was his first road win of the season." These are a little odd, but as a fan, I like how they get you closer to the game.

#DDC-87 Corey Hart Diamond Die-Cut

This one was also acquired via trade. Hart's Diamond Deed just says, "Corey cheats at checkers."

That's all for my die-cuts. I actually pulled three of these during the year, but stupidly traded one away for a single 1966 Topps card, which itself was traded at a later date. "In retrospect, lighting the match was my big mistake. But I was only trying to retrieve the gerbil."


Spankee said...

1. Some of us might be happy if we had an know.

2. It's refreshing to see someone say "champing at the bit" instead of chomping.

3. Why would you need a coaster for a PBR tall boy? That would require putting it down, which, let's face it, isn't happening.

Doc said...

3. Why would you need a coaster for a PBR tall boy? That would require putting it down, which, let's face it, isn't happening.


cynicalbuddha said...

I myself am an alcoholic enviromentalist and prefer the 24 ounce Pabst silos as they use less material and I have to get up less often to get another one, and lets face it a 24 ounce PBR in your hand just makes you look cooler. And nice snag on the two die cut brewers. I ended up unlocking two die cuts and no one would trade me any Brewers for them. Ended up just having them sent to me, I figure they'll either make good trade bait or some filler ebay auctions. And if this makes no sense it's because i'm high on pain pills, wahooooooooooo.

Thorzul said...

Thanks for #2, Spankee. It was agonizing, but I made sure to get on the correct side of the champing/chomping debate before hitting "publish." As it turns out, "chomping" is wrong, even though it has become more popular through misuse.