Saturday, December 3, 2011

2011 Card-vent Calendar: December 3

Reflecting on the past two days, I've realized how unpleasant-looking the first treats from this calendar have been. I'm hoping that something more aesthetically pleasing comes out of door 3.

1992 Pacific Saved By the Bell #25 Tiffani-Amber Thiessen

Ask, and ye shall receive.
The back of this card contains stats (actually biographical information) in the form of "Tiffani's Report Card." While I accept the premise that Tiffani's favorite foods are Cuban, Chinese, and Japanese, I'm not buying her response about her musical tastes. Under the subheading "Music," she says, "Any music except Country." This is the pat answer for people who say they like music from all genres, but only like the bland, palatable, Top 40 pop music with barely recognizable genre undertones. If she really liked any music, she'd have no problem listening to the likes of Cannibal Corpse, "The Fast Food Song," or even John Cage's "4:33."

I say we strap her down and force her to listen to Lou Reed's Metal Machine Music. If she's still smiling, then I'll admit that, yes, she enjoys listening to any kind of music (except country).

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