Saturday, January 19, 2013

How Not to Shoot a Lesbian Love Scene in an Erotic Thriller

Allow me to offer a bit of backstory. A few years ago, I purchased a large cardboard box full of genre DVDs on eBay. Now, this was a large lot, and with a couple of 50-movie collections, there are close to 150 movies in all, if not more. These discs stay out of my collection proper because, well, they just aren't very good, and I'll likely get rid of most of them. I'm not even talking low budget, many of these are no budget, talentless affairs produced by individuals who slept through even their most elementary film classes. They struggle to achieve comprehensive narrative, clearly audible dialogue, or competent lighting. Yet, I am going to sit through every last one of them before passing them on to someone else.

Well, the other night I popped in a movie called Blind Target. The director of this feature is Jess Franco, the many-pseudonymed Spanish filmmaker who specializes in erotic exploitation. He was at the helm of one of the classics of the genre, Vampyros Lesbos (1971), starring one of the most beautiful women to ever walk the Earth, Soledad Miranda. When I saw Franco's name on the cover of this DVD, I was confused, since it didn't seem like his type of faire.
Okay, so I popped it in with somewhat higher expectations than normal. However, the film, like most of the others to emerge from that box, failed to hold my attention. True to my mission, though, I left it on while doing other things on my laptop. The whole thing was shot on video, and the picture quality was closer to VHS-C than any other format. The Spanish cast read their lines in English, but were later dubbed by native English voice actors.

About twenty minutes in, however, something finally starts to happen. The lead actress seduces/is seduced by another female actor on a seaside balcony. Things start to get hot and heavy, and clothes start coming off (of one of them). The erotic drama proceeds from there, still out on the balcony. You know the point where a movie love scene gets so passionate that the aggressor just takes his or her partner and pins them against a wall? Well, in this case it was a closed sliding door. Look for yourself.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how not to shoot a lesbian love scene in an erotic thriller. When they say, "Put 'em on the glass," they're talking about other body parts.

If you wish to see an uncensored version of this screen capture, click here.

3 comments:

SpastikMooss said...

HAH!

Also, when I was a senior in high school, my buddies and I (all wannabee film buffs) were wandering around a mall movie store and found Vampyros Lesbos. Never bought it but were always fascinated by it. Also Trois, the movie with that one guy from CSI. I need to see both those movies.

King Felix 4 CY said...

She looks like Dustin Pedroia. While I'm here, I'd like to request an update over at I post pictures of baseball cards, you look at them and get the fuck out. A Blue Jay or Mariner would be awesome.

Thorzul said...

SpastikMooss:
Vampyros Lesbos is worth watching for the soundtrack alone. The language history on the DVD (Spanish, German, English) is complicated but adds to the atmosphere. I'd say it's NOT OPTIONAL.

King Felix:
I'll see what I can do.