Wednesday, June 4, 2014

Thorzul's 2,000th Post Extravaganza

It's taken over seven years, but at last I've hit the 2,000-post milestone. No fanfare or pretension necessary, let's just celebrate with what worked in the past, just a lot more of it.

BOX BREAK
I recently found a blaster of 2012 Panini Cooperstown lurking low on the Target shelves. I passed up this product when it was released, but the price sticker on this old girl helped me make the decision to buy.

The checklist for this set is unique. Most of the usual suspects are there, but there's also a lot of older Hall of Famers who don't get featured too often in legends products. This is why I chose an off-the-beaten-path base card to represent the rest of the set here:
#13 "Wee" Willie Keeler

Inserts came one in each pack. I'll show these off in order from most preferred to least preferred.
Hall History Roberto Clemente
Clemente is quickly becoming one of my favorite classic players.

High Praise Eddie Murray and Tom Seaver
That Reggie Jackson quote about Seaver is ridiculously cool.

Credentials Steve Carlton and Ernie Banks
Good idea for an insert set, but a little picture somewhere on the card would have helped.

Induction Billy Williams and Lou Brock

The Village James Fenimore Cooper Statue
This insert needs to be numbered and better labeled.


A fun product, I'll keep my eyes peeled for more of these cards provided the price is right.

MY SECRET SHAME #12: SIGNS OF THE TIMES
It's been since September of 2012 that I've done a page from the sticker book. Your wait, kids, is over.

"Signs of the Times" is the theme here. When in the present, this is meaningless to a ten-year-old, but looking back there are a bunch of significant cultural touchstones that could only be of their time.

Ghostbusters 2. I have to admit that I haven't watched this since... could this be possible... I saw it in the theatre? The original, that one's been through the VCR and the DVD player a hundred times, but there's too much stupid shit in the sequel: the painting, too much time in the sewer, a baby... And to top it off, that whole Statue of Liberty sequence. For the birds. I believe this sticker was a free giveaway from one of those classroom book order programs.

Do they still sell those coloring sticker books where you punch out the stickers and lick 'em and stick 'em in the right spots on the pages? I think this Pac-Man ghost is from one of those. Getting buff with barbells in the shape of his nemesis? That's some Rocky-type shit right there.

Mouth Phil. I like the Garbage Pail Kids that don't need to be too gross to be funny.

So the two evil TMNT henchmen were both named after sub-genres of music? That's something the young me failed to pick up.

Who among us has never done this? It just so happened that the top of Dwight Gooden and the bottom of Dave Righetti matched up pretty well for a Frankensticker. That 1986 Topps sticker set was my all-time favorite.

Terrific kid??? Boy, if I had been a depressed pre-adolescent, this would have bumped up my self-esteem by maybe a few thousandths of a percent.


Not my favorite page in the book, but there's a couple of the best coming up. When will that be? Only time will tell.

PACK BUST
At some point in the past year, a reader sent me a bunch of oddball packs. This pack of 1990 Pacific Rad Dudes was the one I was most curious about. They were pretty much what I expected, but definitely worth sharing. The wrapper says 10 cards, but I only had nine scanned. It turns out that my one-year-old son grabbed the pack, which I left within his reach, while I was sleeping (his mom was watching him) and he opened the pack, losing the tenth card. I found it later on one of the ramps of a toy parking garage. It rolled down pretty well.


Here are my top 9 cards in the pack, in reverse order of awesomeness.

9. Running Back Ryan
This asshole plays for Notre Dame. The old joke around these parts goes like this:
"How can you tell if someone graduated from Notre Dame?" "Don't worry, they'll tell you within the first five minutes."

8. Boogie Boardin' Bob
I don't think those guys wear flippers. Do they?

7. Stunt Bike Steve
Extreme sports are for kids who aren't good at other sports, but those kids playing other sports are too busy playing the real sports to get good at the Mountain Dew sports, thus opening the door. There. I said it.

6. Chemical Chris
Chemistry is 90% waiting around for water to boil.

5. Pitchin' Pete
A baseball card in a non-sports pack would usually send me through the roof, but there's enough relief pitcher here to satisfy this curmudgeon. Yes, that's a right-handed clone of Randy Johnson.

4. Cannonball Cory
He's totally going for it. There's a crowd of spectators gathered below, and his pink shoes will protect his feet from smashing into smithereens upon impact.

3. Awesome Volleyball Val
A bit wordy name, but she is all business. Few volleyballers are so stoic when stretching for a dig.

2. Busted Ben
This is the type of craziness I wanted to see more of, which is only natural when you've got a wrapper with an alien booking across it. Ben's overreaction is comical, especially considering he's probably writing in chalk. Mr. Arnold dishes out swift, harsh discipline, most likely.

1. Boom Box Bryan
Duuuuuuuuuuude, this guy is geeking out sooooooooooo hard. Check his raaaaaaaaaaaaad shades and cheesin' choppers. His older cousin with a mustache and a police record offered to weld Bryan's ghettoblaster to the gooseneck of his raaaaaaaaaaad diamondback with mag wheels and three speeds, and now Bryan cruises for chicks and makes prank phone calls from the payphone outside of the edge-of-town Denny's. Duuuuuuuuuuuuude.


Okay, for those of you who have waded through this insanely long post, I promised on Twitter that something would be included in this very special 2,000th post. It's pretty NSFW, so if you're easily offended, just bounce from this post now. But if you'd like to get a better look at Spring Break 2000, You Are There-style, just click on the word AWESOME.

Hope you enjoyed this, it's gonna be a long time until #3,000.

2 comments:

The Junior Junkie said...

That Bebop and Rocksteady sticker is amazing!

That Rad Dudes set is pandering, but I still somehow feel incomplete not having seen it. Yikes.

Spankee said...

I will trade you a huge stack of Brewers for that Volleyball Val card.

I'm 100% serious...email me.