Thursday, December 1, 2016

2016 Card-vent Calendar: December 1

It is undisputed fact that Card-vent is the most beautiful time of year. Before we begin this year's celebration (THE TENTH ANNUAL!!!), I feel that I must disclose to you how exactly this year's came into my possession. In the weeks leading up to Black Friday, websites devoted to the shopping holiday leaked that Card-vent calendars would only be available at CVS pharmacies west of the Rocky Mountains, and that not all franchise locations were even guaranteed that they would receive one to place on the sales floor as an enticement to shoppers. Long story short, I killed a mother of three in Barstow, California, who was merely in line to pick up her son's antibiotic medicine. Xavier Roberts, you have some of this blood on your hands. Some.


I don't know, the graphics this year look cheap as hell. Let's start opening doors and see if something worthwhile tumbles out.

December 1, 2016:
1983 Topps #789 Bryan Clark

It's rare that you get one photo this stupendous on a card, much less two. In tandem, they truly represent the bookends to the Card-vent season. The main photo is how most of us feel when we realize that it's already December. (It's also the expression many reserve for an unexpected viewing of some nekkid tittays.) The inset photo calls to mind the end of Card-vent, when you hate everyone and everything and wish you could just go back to the beginning of the month.


Take my hand on this Card-vent journey, friend, and I will show you the world. And we will strangle the life out of it together.

4 comments:

The Junior Junkie said...

YES

P-town Tom said...

"It is undisputed fact that Card-vent is the most beautiful time of year?" Heck yeah it is. Already waiting for tomorrow!

the sewingmachineguy said...

Excellent.
*tents fingers like Burns

shoeboxlegends said...

Look forward to this every year and this might be my favorite start yet. Can't beat a tittays reference on day one...