Tuesday, December 11, 2018

2018 Card-vent Calendar: December 11

December 11, 2018:
2014 Panini Classics #99 Nap Lajoie

Well, well, well, look what the debutante ball dragged in. That's a right fancy coat you've got there, Napoleon. Right fancy, it is. Do you work children's parties, too, or just those thrown by the American landed gentry?

Editor's Note: We'll take a break from making fun of Mr. Lajoie's outer garment to point out the usefulness of what appear to be a pair of extremely deep pockets.

Top 6 Things Nap's Pockets Could Carry
6. A pint of bourbon.
5. A moderately-powered sidearm with mother of pearl inlays.
4. Emergency "Irish Need Not Apply" Placards (Pack of 6)
3. Rutherford's Obsequiously Strong Cure-All Tincture of Asparagus Root - Putting an End to the Wettest of Coughs and the Driest of Alimentary Conclusions since 1837.
2. Fantastic heretofore unrealized plans for a great water-way linking the great Eastern and Western Oceans via a man-made can-al slicing through the exotic jungles of Meso-America.
1. Deeds to stolen lands.

Monday, December 10, 2018

2018 Card-vent Calendar: December 10

December 10, 2018:
2013 Topps Best of WWE #7 Cody Rhodes

If you ever need a case study of a sure-fire Hall of Famer with an unbeatable pedigree getting shafted due to organizational incompetence and mismanagement, look no further than Cody Rhodes. He's been absolutely killing it since leaving the WWE, his pinnacle achievement being his promotion of All In in Chicago this past summer. The event ended up being the biggest non-WWE or -WCW program in America in 25 years. All this coming after a lame Stardust gimmick which held Rhodes back from achieving true greatness. Will he ever come back? Who knows? At least through cards, we can remember him for what he should have become, not what he never became. There's still time left, though, Vince.

Sunday, December 9, 2018

2018 Card-vent Calendar: December 9

December 9, 2018:
2010 Upper Deck World of Sports #97 Pablo Mastroeni

Things Pablo Mastroeni Is Going to Do After the Game in Which He Is Pictured Playing:
*Buy some more minutes for his phone card, give mom a call
*Check out the tape his roommate lent him of that new South Park show
*Make sure he has the right time 311 concert tickets go on sale tomorrow morning
*Download the trailer to Boogie Nights, go out to dinner, watch it when he comes home if it's finished
*Call his bookie, place a substantial bet on the Indians to win the Series
*Browse the classified ads, see if he can get a good deal on a gently-used Saturn
*Do a HotBot search for "frosted tips"

Sounds like a busy evening. The '90s, man. They were a thing.

2018 Card-vent Calendar: December 8

December 8, 2018:
2000 Pacific #406 Wade Boggs

"Okay, just a couple more, Wade. But this time, how 'bout we have you looking directly into the sun?"

Saturday, December 8, 2018

2018 Card-vent Calendar: December 7

December 7, 2018:
2018 Upper Deck Goodwin Champions When Robots Rule the World #R-1 Working Together

Something about this card fills me with a significant sense of melancholy. This card celebrates the future accomplishment (in 2176) of sentient robots being a part of the human workforce for 50 years. Feelings of loss mixed with a distinctive whiff of desperation dominate my viewing and ownership of this card. Are we really so easily replaceable? Can our human decision-making abilities actually be outpaced by a machine that doesn't need to be compensated for its service? (Not to mention the lack of any need for health insurance, paid maternity/paternity leave, accrued retirement benefits, etc?)

I'm probably worrying too much about this. Robot SM-17 in cubicle 8G probably wastes as much time as Carol in HR. Sure, Triangle Head here looks like he's handling a customer service call, but once the assistant regional comptroller in the background is out of sight, it's back to all Bjork's "All Is Full of Love" video all the time, right hand impreceptibly stroking its illegal aftermarket penile servo on the company dime.

It's a bleak bit of prophecy, sure, but think about the new possibilities for motivational corporate retreats. You've never truly trust fallen if you haven't done it into the arms of an automaton.

Thursday, December 6, 2018

Card-vent Calendar 2018: December 6

December 6, 2018:
1993 Upper Deck #41 Teammates Checklist Joe Carter / Mark McGwire

"Man, get the fuck out my face with that, bitch."

Wednesday, December 5, 2018

2018 Card-vent Calendar: December 5

1977 Topps #255 Garo Yepremian

Today's NFL needs more Cypriot kickers, don't you think? Enjoy.

Tuesday, December 4, 2018

2018 Card-vent Calendar: December 4

December 4, 2018:
Unknown Year (Steve?) Corlton (sic) Puffy Sticker

I don't even know what to say about this.

Except for, now I have one of these, and you don't.
The number is right. But look at all of that blue.

I was still pretty young, but I loved watching Corlton pitch.

Monday, December 3, 2018

2018 Card-vent Calendar: December 3

December 3, 2018:
1992 Fun Stuff The Baseball Enquirer #11 Ken Caminiti

This oddball set is full of interesting takes on the sport of baseball as well as the hobby, but none of the other cards is as upsetting as this one. Something about it just bothers me more than it ought to. The commentary on purposely created error cards is particularly insightful, but that under-(above)-the-nose stubble patch just makes me queasy. The body horror element is also a bit prescient and unsettling, considering the state of Caminiti's testicles during the 1996 season. There's a word that pops up a lot when we examine media from the past: Problematic. I'm refusing to go that far, but I'm still keeping this card at arm's length.

Sunday, December 2, 2018

Trade Me Anything XII #5

It's always great to have Zpop participate in Trade Me Anything. Sometimes his trade package doesn't arrive until the snow melts, but this year he's a man on a mission.

#US62 Mark Reynolds Gold Parallel (0562/2018)

#134 Juan Soto 1983 Anniversary Chrome Refractor

#IA-40 Bryce Harper An International Affair

Zpop asked for all of the Nationals and Red Sox. Too bad there were no Sox left.

Pouring Six Beers at a Time by Bill Giles

Baseball books are almost universally entertaining. Looking forward to this one.

Cross Bones DVD

The premise sounds like it might hold my attention. Genre crossing doesn't always work, but I will eventually set aside an evening for some pirate horror.

4-Film Horror DVD

This one I'm less enthusiastic about. I feel like I did my time with low-budget horror. It took me a few years, but I eventually made my way through two different 50-film no-budget horror sets. Most are just the product of a few metalheads who get their hands on a camcorder and have a couple of weekends to spare. These appear to be a tier above that, so I'll hold on to it, but make no promises.

2011 Bowman #144 Yovani Gallardo Cyan Printing Plate (1/1)

While filing away the Cross Bones DVD, I could feel that something was not quite right with the packaging. There was a bulge. I opened the DVD case and found this between the paper liner and the inner plastic. Very sneaky. This went straight into my Gallardo binder. Is it weird I still have such a thing? I guess there are guys from the current team I should be collecting, but I feel like I shouldn't even start because I'd be priced out of it from the get-go.

Way too generous of you, Zpop. Awesome stuff all around!

2018 Card-Vent Calendar: December 2

December 2, 2018:
1992 SkyBox #272 Dan Marino Armed & Dangerous

I've always thought of the Corvette as the sports car of choice for the unthinking individual with no sense of style whatsoever.
I stand corrected?

Saturday, December 1, 2018

2018 Card-vent Calendar: December 1

December 1, 2018:
2016 Panini Diamond Kings #E14 Justin Upton Expressionists

Wakanda forever.

The best way to do anything is to do it before it becomes popular.

Sunday, November 25, 2018

Trade Me Anything XII #5

Legendary thrifter and longtime Twitter buddy @SRUCHRIS requested my mailing address but no cards. Sometimes the pull of Trade Me Anything is just too strong to resist. He sent a huge box crammed full of stuff. It would take me weeks to inventory the entire trade, so I just set it all out and took a picture. Let's take a literal page from the I SPY series of children's books and see if you can find the following items:
-California Raisins 1988 Christmas Coffee Mug
-Geto Boys "Mind Playing Tricks on Me" Cassingle
-Atari 2600 E.T. Cartridge
-Robin Yount Card #/25
-Kofi Kingston Action Figure
-Breakin' Out VHS
-Two (2) Women's Watches
-Lobo Convention Special Comic Book (Bastich!)

There's so much more than that, including a ton of didn't-pan-out NFL rookie cards and a 2016 Apex MLS base set. I'm sure within the next year I'll send a similar box back. Fun stuff!

Saturday, November 24, 2018

Trade Me Anything XII #4

There has been quite the delay between TMA posts, in case you've noticed. That's what happens when report card time intersects with field trip preparation intersects with Thanksgiving. I'm back in the land of Steven Avery now, so now it's time to go forth and do God's work. This trade comes from David in San Diego.

#83-20 1983 Topps Anniversary Tommy Pham

#US263 Brian Dozier Rainbow Foil

#US269 Francisco Mejia and #US12 Miles Mikolas

The Fugitive and Casino Royale DVDs
Too bad I have both of these already (including Casino Royale on Blu-ray). Great movies.

1990 Topps Traded Set
1990 Topps was the first set I ever pieced together by hand, and now I have its follow-up. Thinking of putting this in pages. Those clashing colors deserve to see the light of day.

1990 Upper Deck High Numbers Set
Ooh, this is another one that's escaped me until now. Still don't have the whole 1-700 set, though. Someday.

Stan Musial Upper Deck Bobblehead

Random Brewers

2014 Topps The Future Is Now #FN-CY1 Christian Yelich
I put it out there on Twitter that the guy on this card is definitely NOT Christian Yelich. No one caught it at the time, because Yelich was still a nobody, but it still doesn't solve the mystery about who is actually pictured here. Any ideas?

Upper Deck Tiger Woods Collection

I love the variety, David! Thanks for an awesome trade!

Saturday, November 17, 2018

Northern Inspiration

Ever ask yourself what's been missing from your life? If you're like me, you have, and if you're even more like me, you'd answer with an admission that you're looking for more stress.

Have I lost you yet?

Yes, stress come from caring. If you don't care about something, it will not give you stress. For example, if my Brewers are headed for a 70-92 record, August and September are free of stress. Contrast that with this year's playoff run that caused my blood pressure to spike on a pitch-by-pitch basis. If you care, you stress out.

But what if I crave the stress because I actually want to care about something? If you couldn't read my mind, I'm talking about hockey, folks. While it's a sport I can admire on an objectively athletic basis, I really have no skin in the game. Winter is quickly approaching, and with only five MLS games remaining, NFL not being fun, and basketball not really interesting until playoff time, I am sort of looking for something to fill my cold weekend nights. Televised hockey might indeed be the answer. The problem is, I need a team to cheer for. The time has come to select a team. Let's analyze some distinct clusters of teams, and perhaps we can whittle the NHL down to a single, perfect rooting interest.

This group includes only one team, the Nashville Predators. The local team, the AHL's Milwaukee Admirals, is the farm team for the Preds. As a bonus, one of the WWE's most likable wrestlers, Rusev, is a notable fixture at games, along with his wife, Lana. This may be too obvious a choice, though.

Looking north along the world's longest undefended border, one finds a group of affable franchises. All things being equal, I have always pulled for the Canadian team in a playoff series. Honestly, it's all they have, and it's been about 25 years since one of them has hoisted the Stanley Cup. Throwing on a Leafs or Jets sweater would help make me an honorary Canadian. Plus, I hear wagering on games gets pretty wild up there. It would be wise to go to Betting Top 10, a compilation of the most reliable sports betting sites in Canada. I can think of no better way to spend a frigid Tuesday evening than putting some action on the Oilers as a road dog. Sweet!

These are just the teams who I couldn't possibly cheer for, because either they have already won their fair share in recent years, or they are in a city that has another team I hate. Cross these off the list.

If hockey has no place occurring naturally outdoors in its home city, I put the team here. I actually find it hilarious when these teams win championships. It's a crime against Mother Nature, but for some reason I find it comical.

Successful seasons have been lean in recent years for these teams. Jumping on a nonexistent bandwagon now would earn you cool points aplenty. I could be persuaded to make one of these my team.

I don't wish any of these any specific harm, but I can't see myself as a fan, either.

So there's the reasoning, everybody. Now I just have to make a choice. I'll be hearing opening arguments at 9:00 tomorrow morning. Bring on the stress!

Sunday, November 11, 2018

Trade Me Anything XII #3

This year has been a lot of fun so far, so let's hope that continues with this trade from Portand resident Kerry. I believe he gets in on this nearly every year, and despite him being a Cardinals fan, he and I share a kinship with our support of the Portland Timbers.

#US73 Marcell Ozuna Rainbow Foil Parallel

#DB-12 Ozzie Smith Don't Blink

Interesting that both guys could be nicknamed "Oz."

1993 Score Gold Rush Greg Vaughn & Robin Yount
I know this one is already in my Yount PC, but should I ever decide to build the Gold Rush set...

1982 Donruss #28 Rollie Fingers
Nice. Mustache and hair are at championship levels.

1989 Bowman #142 Gary Sheffield
This one will go straight into my oddball-sized Brewers shoebox. Already have the complete Bowman set.

2018 Topps Chrome #105 Travis Shaw Pink Refractor
Hmmmm, BCP does not list pink refractors as one of the parallels. Bob Mueller should look into this.

2018 Topps Big League #29 Christian Yelich
First card from this set for me. I like it.

1983 Topps #183 Mike Caldwell

1990 Baseball Cards Magazine Card Panels
I have the Yount separate, but now he has two friends with him.

NBA Teenymates Pack
So, after opening this trade package, I brought my five-year-old son over to open it. I made it painfully clear that if did not pull the Bucks guy, he would have to take all of his meals in the backyard for the next three days.

The first one to pop out of the pack was the Rockets. I saw a hint of green, and I just knew it was going to be the Celtics or Timberwolves or something.
But it was the Bucks! Nice hit from an unopened pack. Kerry, I don't know how you worked that magic, but it sure was great! (Please don't tell me it has something to do with a blind bag wrapper production code number or something like that. Just let me believe.)

Thanks for the awesome stuff Kerry! Hope to still want to send something my way next year. (Maybe some sort of Timbers trinket?)